Today I choose peace, 01/23/2020
As believers we are often waiting or praying for God to move in miraculous ways in our lives. Most times, we pray, we worship, we pay tithes, we are good to people...sometimes to a fault, and we don’t understand why mountains don’t move or circumstances don’t change. We spend a lot of time and energy trying to persuade God to change a thing when He is waiting for us to allow the thing to change our heart posture. I’ve had the same dream since I was a little girl, as far back as I can remember this dream has been a part of my life. First came the dream, then came the trauma, then came the fear. I was paralyzed with fear and today after several days of God touching the pressure points in my heart that would cause it to open the perfect amount at the perfect time, I chose peace.
With tears running down my face I said “God, I surrender. My pain, my anger, my resentment, my fear, my shame, I don’t want it anymore. I give you everything that I am and everything that I am not. I release the people who should have loved me but left me instead. I need you now more than I have ever needed you, more than I needed you when I was laying here thinking about blowing my brains out because this is scarier than that. Please tell David and Gail I love them and that I’m ok. Tell them they can rest now, I will be ok. I have to let them go, I have to finish their work, please tell them I’m ok. God I need you, come into my heart and fill all of my dry places until they overflow, with your grace and your mercy. I’ll be your miracle. I’m nothing without you, I’m ineffective without you, I’m insufficient without you.
Fear will hold you and God back. He can’t give you His promises if you are resting in your fear instead of in His love because as long as you are doing that you don’t belong to Him, you belong to yourself. God’s perfect love drives out fear, we’ve got to acknowledge that we are afraid to be hurt, to be rejected, to be misunderstood, to be mistreated, to be abandoned and after we acknowledge that we have to set it at God’s feet and leave it there! God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but first, our hearts have to be in alignment so that we can receive His grace. His supply is endless, there is nothing we have faced or will face that His grace cannot cover.
In the garden of Eden, after Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit they realized they were naked and were ashamed! Disobedience opened their eyes to shame, an emotion we were never meant to feel. Jesus died to defeat “feelings”. We get so caught up in what we feel that we forget what’s real. What’s real is the blood that cleanses us, the grace that saves us, and the power we have to change our minds and decide to walk in freedom. God wants us to live in abundance where money, relationships, and all of our desires are concerned...but first he wants us to walk in the freedom He died for. Today I broke up with fear and chose peace. When I opened my eyes from prayer it was as if I was a new person but it doesn’t stop there. This walk is a decision that has to be made daily, everyday we must renew our minds, eat our bread, and make our choice to walk in the light. Today, I choose peace.